Today is the fifth anniversary of the day I lost my wife.

It hadn’t actually dawned on me until around 2am, at which point I got an email from my dad mentioning it. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that I hadn’t remembered until he mentioned it. It would probably have dawned on me later in the day, or worst case in a few days I’d then remember that I didn’t do anything on the day, and would feel guilty about it.

Clearly she was on my mind though, because I dreamt about her last night. I was back at university where we met, and I remember distinctly that she was just missing, and I couldn’t find her. All of a sudden I saw her off in the distance, and ran up to her. I held her and kissed her, and although it wasn’t altogether clear to me where she had been, I was so glad to have her back again.

I think I will be in love with her for the rest of my life, and that will probably prevent me from being able to have a meaningful relationship with anyone else. Who else would have the patience to put up with someone like me?


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